Easter weekend is not going well. Today is Day 3 of the horrible, terrible, no good, very bad Cold that has now set up shop in my throat and lungs after spending a couple of days camped out in my sinuses. I can’t speak above a whispery croak; I’m running a 101 fever and I’ve been mainlining guafenesin for the past 24 hours. In short: we have NOT been entertained. Not bloody much, anyhow.
Thankfully, things began to perk up a little today. The way the three major GOP presidential candidates have been falling over themselves and each other in what is apparently a contest to see who can be the most idiotic, maybe they oughta get their own game show on TV. Hmmmm. If they did, I think it might go something like this….
Hello, GOP candidates! Your question today is: If it were your responsibility and yours alone to lift the spirits of a tired, humorless and dejected nation by saying things of a comical nature, what would you decide to say?
GOP Candidate Number One?
I’m not a big-game hunter. I’ve made that very clear, he said. “I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will. I began when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then. More than two times.
GOP Candidate Number Two?
“Of course I am going to misspeak and I’ve done it on numerous occasions and I probably will do it in the future, says McCain.
“I regret that when I divert attention to something I said from my message, but you know, that’s just life, he tells Pelley, adding “I’m happy, frankly, with the way I operate, otherwise it would be a lot less fun.
And last but not least, GOP Candidate Number Three?
“I don’t like mandating health care. I don’t like it because it erodes what makes health care work in this country – the free market, the profit motive. A mandate takes choice away from people. We’ve got to let people make choices. We’ve got to let them take the risk; do they want to be covered? Do they want health insurance? Because ultimately, if they don’t, well, then, they may not be taken care of. I suppose that’s difficult.
Recent Comments