Patience, reader droogies. Yes, there will be new posts here at Tildology someday. I promise. New posts including some new homemade funny pictures (or at least what passes for funny in my bitter little corner of the universe), a couple of particularly good Spong Q and As, the latest developments in my ongoing effort to trace my father’s birth family, and maybe even the long-awaited book review of How To Be a Geek Goddess.
Until that happens we’re just vamping for time here, trying to keep the place looking lived in. Theda does her style of vamping while I do mine by offering these prodigious time-wasters. Enjoy..
First, via Maru and company at WTF Is It Now? it’s:
Yes, whatever type of problem you have, be it social, economic, political, or even sexual — all the most difficult, gnarly, convoluted problems of our times can be solved by that vaunted Republican brain trust. Type in your problem, hit the Solve button and the GOP solution will trickle down to you instantly!
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Next, via our favorite NYC droogie Elayne Riggs , here’s a site designed to ensnare people with a degree of fluency in Russian ( yes Mr. and Mrs. Evil Bobby, and WINston SmITh, I’m looking at you) plus people who hate Lolcats, as well as millions of people with no discernible sense of humor…
Yeah. See, if you click on the image above you’ll be taken to the site, which is technically called Rolcats but even before you see the Cyrillic captions on the pictures you’ll know you’re someplace distinctly Slavic because the R in Rolcats is backwards and as we all know that is the universal sign for “Dude, whatever you’re looking at, it’s Russian, cuz it gots the R backwards ‘n shit.”
Yep, a backwards R always means Russian stuff, even tho a backwards R is actually the Cyrillic letter for the sound “ya”; it also means the word “I”. So Rolcats with a backwards R is actually pronounced “Ya-olcats” , which makes even less sense than “Rolcats”.
I should really give up and just concede that the Slavic soul is impenetrably dark and cryptic.
Anyway — if major, high volume time-wasting is what you’re after, just head right into the comments and pick a side in the neverending battle that I call:
Quien es mas lame? Who is the lamest? What’s the lamest thing about Rolcats? Is it the original Russian captions? Is it the pretentiously hip, mock-Soviet English captions, which have no correlation to the original Russian captions? Is it the commenters who continually bitch about the English captions not being translations of the original Russian captions? Is it the other commenters who think the first bunch of commenters have no sense of humor? Is it the commenters who think Russian lolcats have no sense of humor? Is it perpetual comment troll Harold, whom everyone agrees has no sense of humor, but who doggedly insists on posting the same extremely lame comment on every Rolcat picture?
Choose your faction in this fight and have at it, my droogies. I’ll come back and check on you in a couple of weeks.
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At first I was puzzled at ROLcats. I hadn’t seen the LOLcats site. Ok, so now I puzzled by LOLcats. I guess one thing the Internet is good for is expressing the infinite variety of human beings. Each of those pictures on LOLcats is getting over 100 comments. I’ll admit that some of the pictures and comments are funny but really, its a one-joke site, but there’s infinite variety of human beings. Of all the people who read LOLcats, one of them gets an idea. “You know what would be really funny, pictures of cats, with Russian captions and poor translations of those captions. Get it? Ha Ha Ha Ha!” And then this person puts in the effort to make it real. I write a blog post almost every day (ok, its about baseball cards) and I know how hard it is to think up a new idea every day. At least this guy doesn’t have any competition (I guess). And then he gets lots of people to make comments! More comments then I ever get. Although, I tempted to think all the comments are written by the writer of the blog (snark intended).
For the longest time I felt like everyone else was getting something out of LOLcats that I was incapable of getting. A lot of them just don’t strike me funny at all. I particularly hate the maudlin, treacly “I haz a sad” variety, the ones that all seem to have been written by a maiden aunt with a drinking problem, or by one of Marge Simpson’s sisters (Patty or Selma). And in some of them the captions or “LOLspeak” veers so close to racist stereotypes (verging on Michele Bachmann “Bach-bonics” as Rachel Maddow put it the other night) I find them irredeemably offensive.
But somewhere along the line I discovered the “ceiling cat/basement cat” subgenre, and I can never stop laughing at those. And the LOLrus subgenre “I haz a bukkit” ones always make me laugh too, and I even like the sad ones. Poor Lolrus! When will he ever see his beloved bukkit again??
Hey, different strokes, etc. I do kind of like the original Russian captions on the Rolcats. I guess I fall into that camp of the commenters who hate the uber-hip faux-Soviet English captions. Yeah, all those comments — like I said , it’s one of the premier time-wasting sites out there.