crate labels!

Presenting the latest addition to our ever-growing blog crate label line:

Compare and contrast with the original Tex-Rio citrus fruits label.

Actually I think mine turned out rather [...]]]> Ah,  yes.    Here we are again in the trough of post-Christmas doldrums, when an old Tild’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of…

crate labels!

Presenting the latest addition to our ever-growing blog crate label line:

Compare and contrast with the original Tex-Rio citrus fruits label.

Actually I think mine turned out rather well  [said your ever-modest as well as kindly old Auntie Tild]

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Tildified™  for your enjoyment,  based on this Tot brand vegetables crate label

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My sons are no longer tots (unless 6’2″  young adults qualify for tot-hood) but they do indeed love leafy greens, especially when those leafy greens are transformed [by a little olive oil  &  sea salt  & roasting in an oven] into [...]]]>

Tildified™  for your enjoyment,  based on this Tot brand vegetables crate label

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My sons are no longer tots (unless 6’2″  young adults qualify for tot-hood) but they do indeed love leafy greens, especially when those leafy greens are transformed [by a little olive oil  &  sea salt  & roasting in an oven] into crispy chips.

My youngest (the almost-20 y.o.,  school of culinary arts student) showed up at the house last weekend just as I was taking a fresh batch of kale chips out of the oven.    He was on his way to a backyard bonfire get-together at a friend’s house, so I told him it might be a nice thing if he brought some snack-y  food and why not bring along this [huge gladware] container of kale chips?    Kid needed convincing, but after  sampling a few,  then three more, then four more, he was definitely sold.

When he returned late that night, the huge container was empty and we heard about how everyone at the party loved the kale chips, and when was I planning to make some more?

A small thing, to be sure, but I tell ya –  it’s  small moments like these that swell a parent’s [aging, battered] heart.

Didn’t get green kale in my CSA box this week;  got Red Russian Kale instead, so that’s what I’m using for this week’s batch of kale chips.  Try ‘em.  They’re really easy to make, and believe me if  I say they’re easy,  you can take dat to da bank  (if you’ll pardon the creepy insane old Robert Blake Baretta-ism).

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Kale Chips

One bunch of curly  green kale

[Tild sez:  actually I hear that these turn out equally well when made with other kinds of kale, or chard, or even with brussels sprouts!]

Olive oil
Sea salt

Wash kale and cut the leaves off of the big stems (I slide a sharp knife along the stem). If the pieces seem too big, tear them into chip size — the bigger the pieces, the longer it takes to crisp up, but don’t make them too small. I usually leave the kale in my sink colander (my favorite kitchen tool, ever!) to drain. Put the drained kale in a bowl and dowse with some olive oil. I’ve never measured, I just make it like I would a salad. Sprinkle with a healthy pinch of salt. Toss. Spread onto cookie sheet (mine has sides). Bake in 350 degree oven until crisp. [Tild sez:  I set the timer for 15 minutes, which seemed about right]  I check several times, stirring them around to even out the cooking. If some kale seems to be taking a lot longer to cook, I remove the already crisp ones and start eating. Enjoy.

Recipe from  Michelle  at  Green Kitchen

[I love her;  she's wonderful]

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Here’s something, tho:  another CAMC  “badge” in the produce crate label style you know I love so much. Happy Monday!

Anyway, I’m feeling kind of bad about how [...]]]> Somewhat to their dismay I fear, some of Auntie Tild’s favorite people, the proprietors of Dinged Corners have been discovering how ubiquitous that Safe Hit crate label art really is.    Yeah.  It’s everywhere.  Even in  places you’d never expect.  (Now that’s some powerful marketing fu.)

Anyway, I’m feeling kind of bad about how commonplace the image seems to be, so to make it up to them I thought I’d quick whip up an alternative.   Whattaya think,  Lucy?

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Found another one!   It’s the latest in my growing collection of Droste effect crate labels.  It’s a dandy too, isn’t it?  And such clever marketing:  I know that whenever I think of grapefruit I always think “Mike”.   Pure genius.

Staying on the subject of crate labels, I’ll bet you’ve been noticing the [...]]]>

Found another one!   It’s the latest in my growing collection of Droste effect crate labels.  It’s a dandy too, isn’t it?  And such clever marketing:  I know that whenever I think of grapefruit I always think “Mike”.   Pure genius.

Staying on the subject of crate labels, I’ll bet you’ve been noticing the new set of rotating headers we’ve put up here at Tildology.    Since we’d had enough of the infinite line of blue doors, this month we’re going with the theme:  Women Holding Up Oranges (or Apples).

See them in their original settings:   Marquita brand oranges,  Native Daughter brand oranges,  and Hula brand apples.   Aren’t they lovely?  No, I’m being serious.  Aren’t they?  I think so.

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It was a while in the making.  A few distractions came along.  Little things like:  moving the two kids out of the house and off to college;  celebrating my 56th birthday;  and, oh… there was some minor hubbub about a bunch of Republicans coming to town, and thousands of people marching to protest the [...]]]>

It was a while in the making.  A few distractions came along.  Little things like:  moving the two kids out of the house and off to college;  celebrating my 56th birthday;  and, oh… there was some minor hubbub about a bunch of Republicans coming to town, and thousands of people marching to protest the war,  and a few bad actors with either questionable  or lunatic motives, and of course there was the traditional pepper-spraying,  roughing up and arrest of  hundreds of  witnesses…      But here at last is the blog crate label made specially for our new friends at Dinged Corners , a most excellent blog about baseball cards and the baseball players who sign them and the people who collect them.   Um, the cards not the players.

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First we have a label for The Curmudgeon over at the Pubhouse Dialogues. True to his ornery nature, the Curmudgeon’s crate label advertises produce known for its astringence, bitterness and complexity. You probably don’t know [...]]]> Here we go again, with the 2nd installment in our ongoing series of original crate label art for blogs…

First we have a label for The Curmudgeon over at the Pubhouse Dialogues. True to his ornery nature, the Curmudgeon’s crate label advertises produce known for its astringence, bitterness and complexity. You probably don’t know what they are (but Nick, being not only a curmudgeon but also a chef, undoubtedly does).

Next we have a lug box label for Charlie of Across the Great Divide. Charlie, I want you to know that as I promised I tried to base your label on an original that was from Colorado. I tried, I really did, but oddly enough the one that ended up working the best was a label from Idaho. Yeah, Idaho. And it wasn’t a potato label either. Go figure.

And last for today we have a little something for Power Liberals Robin and Steve. Actually this one’s not a crate label at all. Back in 1920 Maxfield Parrish started doing a series of magazine ads for Edison- Mazda Lamps that are, like all of Parrish’s paintings, exquisite almost beyond words. For a long time now I’ve been thinking about doing a Power Liberal label in the Edison-Mazda Lamp style, but I never could decide on how it should look until I saw the (exquisite almost beyond words) face of Power Liberal progeny Violet Jane. Who can turn the world on with her smile? Eat your heart out, MTM.

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The height of  the  crate label art heyday  lasted from the 1920′s through the 1950′s.  [...]]]>
In my ceaseless trolling for crate label art I’ve occasionally been stopped in my tracks by a label that’s so unusual, or so JPW (just plain weird) that I have to wonder: What the hell were the makers thinking?

The height of  the  crate label art heyday  lasted from the 1920′s through the 1950′s.  Obviously our perceptions about certain images and phrases can change with time. For example, today if I heard about a product calling itself “White Chick brand”, I think I might expect a movie tie-in kind of deal, maybe with one or more Wayanses, in whiteface, on the label. Also, if I hear “Bimbo brand melons”, a freckle faced country boy with a fishing pole is really not the first image that pops into my head.

Apart from the misfires caused by mutating pop cultural references, some of these concepts had to have been real clunkers right from the get-go.  I mean, even back in the 20′s did anyone really want to eat Scary Evil Clown apples? No wonder the kid in the next row is bawling; he’s terrified. Or who ever  lusted after Capital Gains vegetables?  (Yeah, yeah, I know: Republicans. Talk about jokes writing themselves.)

I don’t care how much you may love Orson Welles and postwar Vienna and all that damned zither music.  Would that be enough to make you want to buy Der 3rd Mann oranges? Even when Der 3rd Mann inexplicably appears to have a large goatse on his forehead? Okay, so maybe the whole goatse thing didn’t exist back in the late ’40s.   Don’t those big red ripples or rays or whatever the heck they are emanating from the guy’s head look just a little odd?  And anyway if it’s a Der 3rd Mann label shouldn’t it be about limes?

I’m sure the rabid local reich wingers will be thrilled to see the Red Star label. (Now watch them deliver it to the Strib, with much preening and fanfare and backslapping at how teddibly witty and arch they think they are. Take that! Ha ha, you commies are so burnt! )

Most of the time I think the produce companies were just trying for something memorable more than anything else. I wonder, tho, if the parties behind Swastika brand pears back in the 1920′s anticipated just how memorable that little label of theirs would turn out to be.

As for Woozie-Woozie brand (the Wondercrop!)… Wtf?    ”Quick, Beulah! Peel me a grape, I’m feeling a little woozie-woozie!” …I don’t have a clue.

UPDATE:  For some reason all 9 labels are not showing up this morning.   The WP widget dealie that puts a gallery into a post has decided to show only 6.  It was working fine last night!  [grumble grumble]